KallistiCon: A Discordian (un)Convention
KallistiCon 2009: June 12-14, 2009
If you want to come, email stmae@discordian.com.

Oakland, California --><-- Friday-Sunday, June 12-14 2009

| Fees | Accomodations | Transportation | What To Bring | A Note on Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, & Tobacco |

Name: E-mail:

Contact: St. Mae stmae@discordian.com or Johnny Brainwash (johnnybrainwash*at*hotmail)
Important: If you are coming, you MUST RSVP by emailing stmae@discordian.com by no later than June 8th, 2009!

From a secure location beneath New Alamut,
Left Coast, Turtle Island, Earth
Fool's Day 2009

Discordians, Dysnomians, Erisians, and others of much ilk...

Get up! (Get on up!)

Kallisticon 2009 is coming - June 12-14!

Every year this millennium, we've gotten together in the Bay Area in California. We're not just rehashing gags from the Principia - we're moving forward, practicing chaos in the world.

For the last seven years, we've eaten and drank together, we've made friends with strangers in traffic, we've had rituals and blessings, we've been weird in public, and we've been human with each other. We've found the freaks who thought they were the only ones, and taught them - and ourselves - what tribe is supposed to mean.

Some of you will say: "But Discordians are supposed to be disorganized."

Didn't you know that's just a put-on?

Some of you will say we're doing it wrong, and only you know the right way to follow Eris.

That's OK. Just quit talking about it and start doing it.

Some will no doubt repeat the tired cliche: "We Discordians tend to stick apart."

Of course we do, but sticking apart is more fun when we do it together.

Throw out your old memes. Greg and Kerry are gone, Bob Wilson is gone, Camden Benares and the other old-timers are gone. Let's honor and respect them. Let's learn from their lives and their teachings. But let's stop trying to be them.

The Principia is your grandma's Discordia. Being an inside joke on the net is your daddy's. What's yours? And who are you doing it with?

gabba gabba
we accept you
we accept you
one of us


Let us know as soon as possible if you're coming, but definitely by no later than Monday, June 8. After that, we can't guarantee there will be enough food or transportation.

If you have special needs regarding food or accommodations, please let us know at least a week in advance.


Con fees cover lots of food, gas money and possibly a rental car, and assorted supplies for con activities. Con fees are $60-75 on a sliding scale.


You're coming to spend the weekend at St. Mae's house. She's moved since KCon '08, and the new place isn't as big. We suggest you bring a sleeping bag, a pillow, and a mat to put under it in case you miss out on one of the couches or futons. If you're an outdoorsy-type, there's a backyard that might do well for camping.

If you must have a real bed, email Saint Mae and she'll hook you up with the closest hotel she can find. If you have any other special needs (note: there are cats, you may need allergy meds), please let us know as far in advance as you can.

Please note: if you want to come early or stay late to play tourist in San Francisco, St. Mae cannot accommodate you for days outside the con. We're already commandeering her house for three days, and that's about all she can take. That said, she's happy to suggest a few cool places to visit/stay.


Airplane: San Francisco, San Jose and Oakland airports all work. St. Mae's place is extremely close to OAK, so that is most ideal.

Bus or train: Take Amtrak or Greyhound to Oakland.

If you'll need a ride from the airport, bus or train station, we suggest you arrive on Friday before 3PM and depart on Sunday after 8PM. Please make sure we have your arrival and departure info by Wednesday the 19th, or we may not be able to arrange a ride.

By car: Email St Mae for directions. Plan on arriving at 5PM on Friday.


We cook, barbecue and picnic. All the food you'll need is covered by your con fees.

We'll try to accommodate special diets. Vegetarian and vegan are easy, but if your needs are not obvious, be specific. Don't assume we know what you need. Please let us know about special dietary needs at least a week in advance, so we can plan accordingly. Please mention if you are vegetarian, vegan, or omnivore.


Yes, St. Mae has two cats. Johnny Brainwash is allergic as hell and can advise you on how to deal. If you need alternate sleeping arrangements, please let us know a week in advance.


Clothing: Oakland can get quite warm during the day, but cools off at night. San Francisco doesn't usually get warm at all. Be prepared for summer heat, but be sure to have long pants and a sweater/hoodie/jacket as well. Consider if you want to dress for the party on Saturday, and try to bring something for High Formal Weirdness on Sunday.

Your towel: Of course you know where your towel is, but it's not just to be hoopy. You'll need it to bathe (and we expect you to bathe).

Toiletries and necessities: Just because you know where your towel is doesn't mean we're going to lend you a toothbrush. And besides, you don't want Johnny Brainwash's toothbrush. Trust us on this.

Bedding: Sleeping bag or blanket, pillow, a ground pad if you have one. Assume you'll be the one sleeping on the hardwood floor.

Meds: Allergy meds if you need them for the cats. Anything else you may need to get through a weekend in unfamiliar surroundings.

A plate, a cup, a fork, a spoon: We don't want to waste lots of paper plates. Be prepared and bring your own stuff.

Condoms: Not that we plan on sleeping with you. But someone else might, and we want you to be safe.

Money: Con fees cover room and board. But if you plan to drink, beer money will help. Also, we won't be supplying you with cigarettes, tourist trinkets or other impulse purchases.

Useful tools: drums and noisemakers, acoustic instruments, your original writings, anything you want for show-and-tell.

Other handy stuff: backpack, sunscreen, camera, silly hats, water bottle, etc.


Dogs. Guns. Any other weapons. Hard drugs. Bad attitudes. Big egos. Puritanical hang-ups. The Protestant work ethic. Scabies.


We may believe the chains of law have been broken, but the cops haven't heard the news. There could be minors present, so behave accordingly. Also, not everyone will share the same beliefs on what behavior is acceptable. If there's any question about what you're doing, please err on the side of discretion.

Y'all are a sexy bunch of freaks, and are bound to be attracted to each other. Keep it safe and sane, and remember that the rest of us don't necessarily want to watch. Get a room.

If you drink, remember you're a guest in someone's home. Try to show some respect.

Tobacco is gross. If you must smoke, don't do it inside. St. Mae will be greatly displeased. There's plenty of outside to smoke in.

Gabba gabba
We accept you
We accept you
One of us

end transmission


Want to see some of what we've done in the past?

Memories of KallistiCon 2004, copies of the summary emails from St. Mae to the mailing list.

Flickr search for KallistiCon photos here.

Last major update - May 20, 2009.

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